tips

“Yael!” Everyone is booked! I cannot find a single decent band that isn’t already booked! Please tell me you have some incredible connection and can find me a band of my dreams!” My bride was getting married in three months and she and her fiance just couldn’t agree on a band… so they put it off, got caught up with everything else on their never-ending todo list and all of the sudden, their wedding was right around the corner and they were left without a band!

“Ok. Don’t worry, we will figure it out! Let me ask around! I’ll be in touch ASAP” I hung up the phone and began calling all of the local vendors I knew, I am sure SOMEONE knew someone who might still be available and within her budget. For all of my readers out there, don’t fret! She found an awesome band that she, her husband and all of their guests absolutely loved! It was an incredible wedding with tons of dancing and great music. Everything worked out just the way it should have!

One thing at a Time! Being engaged is a magical time in your lives as a couple. You just agreed to be partners for life. You and your best friend promised to spend the rest of your days next to each other, cheering each other on and being each other’s biggest support system. Planning a wedding should be exciting and fun. It’s the beginning to your marriage! It breaks my heart when I hear how chaotic and stressful it can be. The todo list feels like it just goes on and on and there is no end in sight! Take a deep breath! It is going to be ok! Instead of looking at everything all at once, focus on one big task at a time. Once you finish one thing, then go on to the next. Trust me on this one, it is way easier. I know what you’re thinking “Ok Yael, that makes total sense but what do I focus on first!? What should be my top priority when?! How do I know when to book what!?” You are in luck! I have put together a YP cheat sheet to help you figure out the ideal time to book your favorite wedding vendors!

“Do you think people will like this!?” one of my brides texted me. I waited for the screenshot to download. It was the cutest save-the-date. They looked happy, in love and stunning in every way. I started typing back, “YES!” but hesitated, shook my head and backspaced, “The more important question, is do YOU!?” I could just imagine my bride grinning ear to ear as she read my text and looked back at the screenshot of her card. A few seconds later my phone buzzed again “I really, really do.”

Does this make me happy? I know sometimes it is easy to get caught up with other peoples opinions, specially the mother’s of the world. Sometimes, and don’t get me wrong, I am no exception, we all can agonize over the little things… Should you have the pink champagne or a speciality drink? Do you pay extra for the bigger floral centerpieces? Do you splurge for the chiavari chairs?? Sometimes, you even find yourself comparing your plans with your best friend (who happen to be getting married a month after you), wedding plan’s. While you agonize, question and compare, please take a step back and ask yourself these questions…. “Do you like it!? Do you even really care? Is this thing you are stressing about now really going to add that extra little something to your big day?” If the answer is yes, then good! Keep doing what you are doing. If the answer is no, then stop your worrying! Everything will be beautiful, lovely and completely and totally you.

Let me fill you in on a little secret… Wedding guests really only care about three things; dancing, food and whether or not they had a good time. They don’t think about how much time and effort you put into handwriting, rewriting and then re-rewriting the seating chart. They don’t know how many hours you spent contemplating if there are enough peonies in the centerpieces. And they definitely don’t have any real understanding how many emails you sent questioning the number of candles on each table.   You are better off focusing on the bigger picture and most importantly, what makes YOU and your fiance happy. So, when in doubt, ask yourself this yes or no question…”Does this make me happy?”

xo,

Yael

“I feel like I haven’t seen him since he was down on one knee!” one of my 2019 bride’s said as we sat across from each other at Starbucks. I continued to listen and took a sip of my herbal tea. “All we do is plan, research, talk to our moms and then do more research. It is exhausting! I miss just hanging out with him” she explained. I waited for her to take a breath… “I have something for you.” I responded as I started sifting through my bag. I always keep a few extra gift cards on me just in case this happens… you’d be surprised how often I hand them out. “AHH!” I say, as I pull out an AMC movie theater gift card and hand it over.

“What’s this for?” she asked as she flipped it over to investigate further.

“When was the last time you guys went to a movie?” I asked. She didn’t respond. That’s what I thought. “This,” I said as I pointed to the gift card “Is your initiation into your weekly date night.” I explained. “Every week, you guys should put everything aside, maybe even leave your phone at home, and do something fun just the two of you. I don’t want you to talk about your wedding or your checklist once. Just go out and appreciate one another!” She smiled and nodded. I could already see some of the tension leave her shoulders and with that, I smiled and nodded right back.

Make time for just the two of you (and maybe your puppy too): Even though your wedding day is supposed to be just about you and your SO, planning a wedding is always more complicated than that. It’s about the caterers and the venue. It’s about mom’s wishes and dad’s family traditions. It’s about keeping up with your todo list, checking things off and quadruple inspecting every detail. Planning a wedding takes up a ton of physical, mental and emotional space and that is why weekly date nights are a YP must! Don’t get me wrong, I think date nights are immensely important in every stage of a relationship, but when you are waking up at 2am concerned about the guest list or you just re-did the seating chart for the 14th time, it is so vital to take a step back, put the checklists, schedules and planners down, grab your SO’s hand and go out! Take some time to remember exactly why you are doing all of this. You are getting ready to marry your best friend so you better take some time to appreciate them, love them and spend some time JUST the two of you… 

February 2008:

“So, I have exciting news” My mom said as she walked down the stairs to the living room. “What?” I said, as I lounged on the leather sofa in my school uniform and UGGs, not even looking up from my Samsung Alias phone. I was clearly way more interested in my text conversation with my best friend from sleep-away camp (shout out to Dina Sebrow) than what my mom had to say.

She sighed and continued to talk “Bec and Sim picked a wedding date…”

She just looked at me, being the typical, uninterested, 15 year old girl that I was, I said nothing.

“It’s going to be the Sunday of 4th of July weekend” My mom said.

I looked up…”Why would they do that! It’s a holiday for crying out loud” I finally said in the most dramatic voice that could ever come out of my mouth. I put my Alias down next to me and crossed my arms.

My mom sat down on the sofa next to me and taught me one heck of an important lesson.

You must be thinking “Well duh, Yael. That is an obvious one.” and in ways you are totally right, there are certain dates that you already know are never going to happen. But here is the cool part… Did you know that high sought – after seasons and days of the week are more expensive? A Saturday evening reception at the end of the summer and a Friday midday wedding in the middle of winter at the same venue can have vastly different prices. So, if your SO is dying to see you walk down the aisle at his favorite venue, pick a Friday or a slightly colder day of the year. It will save you money, make him happy and allow you to have a larger budget for the dream dress you have always wanted. In my book, that is a win win win! 

Becca and Simcha did it right; not only did they get married on a Sunday, but a holiday weekend no less! Which, at the time, was one the smartest wedding decisions they could have made!

They have now been married for over 10 years and have four incredible kids… I mean how can you NOT want to follow their lead : ) 

xo,

Yael