YP Life

“All the kids are staying up as late as they can before they pass out.” Shana, my sister, WhatsApped me. I laughed when I read the message. There is nothing like staying up for Passover Seder when you are a kid. Drinking what feels like galloons of grape juice, smelling the bitter horseradish but not eating it, singing the dozens of songs we practiced and showing off the beautiful Hagadot (Seder Books) that we spent hours creating in school. It was our night to shine and I loved every second of it.

As I think about Akiva and Shmuel belting out the “Four Questions” on the top of their lungs, with their younger siblings trying to keep up and my sister and brother-in-law smiling,  I can’t help but feel an immense warmth and sense of pride. I find the whole Passover ordeal charming.  Don’t get me wrong, I know it is a lot of work. I know the cleaning can be overwhelming, the cooking can be challenging and the long nights can be exhausting. Yet, there is nothing like sitting around the Seder table, asking the same questions as every Jewish generation that came before us and eating the same Matzah as all the Jewish generations that will be coming after us.

Passover, in its essence, is a holiday for the children. It is here to teach the next generation our heritage. Teach them about the exodus of Egypt, the strength of the Jewish people and our ability to overcome obstacles. I never fully understood the power of this holiday until I witnessed my oldest niece, Shira’s, first Seder. The twinkle of pride in her eyes as she sang her songs, the happiness that washed over her face every time she answered a question correctly and the smile that shined through as she showed us the projects she made in school, finally made me see the incredible importance of this holiday. There is nothing like watching the next generation fall in love with your heritage and your traditions the way you did once upon a time.

This year, all the little ones will be in Israel (as they should be) but that doesn’t make Passover any less special. This year, Robert will be coming home with me. We will be surrounded by family and close friends, tradition and tons of wine. I couldn’t be more excited to share my favorite holiday with my favorite human. I could not be more excited to sit down and keep the Jewish Tradition alive for yet, another year.

“Let’s welcome Yael Pachino to the stage!” and everyone started to clap. I stood up from my seat in the back of the room. Took a deep breath in. I tried to smile as I walked up to the stage. The lights were bright. The clapping was loud and the butterflies in my stomach were fluttering like never before. I turn to face the crowd, put one hand on the microphone and feel complete and utter fear. It was Tribe 12’s Fellowship Pitch Night and I was one of the 2019 Fellows. I had about 0.2 seconds to start my pitch before the silence became awkward and uncomfortable. Here. Goes. Nothing, “Racheal was crying,” I heard myself begin.

I had practiced for this. I had literally spent hours trying to memorize the 172 words, in the shower, on the stair-master, on the way to the gym, on the way back from the gym and even when I was brushing my teeth. Over the last week, I have recited my pitch so many times that I honestly think Robert had it memorized too. Yet, no amount of preparation was relieving the nerves and fear I had of reciting a memorized speech in front of hundreds of people. Memorized being the keyword.

Don’t get me wrong, usually, I don’t mind public speaking at all! When I can just get up there and do my thing, it feels like second nature. But this was different. This was way more than just speaking about something I love. This was a pitch about something I had been dreaming about. This was a pitch I had been working towards for months. This was THE pitch and I was terrified.

Memorization has never been my strong suit. To be honest, it’s been a challenge ever since I was in elementary school dealing with my learning disabilities for the first time. Although, my learning disability had never been fully diagnosed, I know my limits. I know what I struggle with and I know how hard I have to work to overcome it. Just because I am adult, doesn’t make it easier. Unfortunately, society doesn’t seem to always comprehend that.

So as I stood there, on stage, feeling like I was back to being 9 years old in my 5th grade play “The Plant that Ate Dirty Socks”, I looked out into the crowd and felt the love.  The only thing I saw was smiling faces and warm eyes looking up at me. I knew I was surrounded by an incredibly supportive and understanding group of people. I knew this community, my community, only wants the best for me. I knew this group of people would not judge me if I fumbled.  Although, I felt my entire body shaking the entire minute and thirteen seconds I was up there,  all I could do was stand up straight and power through.

That is all we can really do, isn’t it? Jump on in and ignore the fears. Prepare and believe in yourself. Work hard and have faith in your determination. No matter how scary it is, how intimidating it feels, if it is worth it, you will have the strength to overcome.  Don’t give up on yourself. You are more powerful than you think.

“OK, I think I am going to run to the grocery store and…” my phone started buzzing from my back pocket, ARMANDA in bright white letters showed up on the caller ID.  “It’s your grandmother!” I said with a huge smile. I sit down next to Robert and put my phone on speaker so we both can hear.

“Yael and Robert, I need a favor” She said in her thick Israeli accent with no time for greetings, “I have a new cell phone and I need your help. You are my new tech support. I am your favorite client!” She explained. Within 30 minutes, we were on our way to Armanda’s apartment in Center City, leaving the groceries and all of our other errands behind. Armanda came first and that was just a fact of life.

As the doorman ushered us in, I took a look at the beautiful lobby and was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to be considered a part of this family. Armanda is one of the strongest women I know and her sense of style puts everyone else to shame. From the day I met Robert, I knew his grandmother was a fiery woman who he admires dearly. Now, almost four years later, she is someone I not only admire, but aspire to be like. Nothing stops her. No matter what life throws her way she holds her head up high and keeps moving forward.

Looking perfect and sophisticated in every way, Armanda answered the door with a huge, loving smile. I immediately felt grateful and honored all in one. Honored that she picked up her phone to call me. Honored to be hugged and kissed when I walked into the door. Honored to be the one she thinks is good enough for her eldest grandson.

Before I knew it, we were sitting amongst the beautiful Israeli art side by side as I showed her how to use her new Samsung. I admit. I was impressed. For someone who isn’t great with my own phone, watching Armanda try her best to understand technology was incredible. In a world that is totally different than the one she grew up in, she doesn’t let the unknowns hold her back.  I actually think Armanda understands how to use emojis better than I do! She is a constant reminder that no matter what, your inner strength can push you forward. She is a constant reminder that age is just a number. She is a constant reminder that you can always learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.

” I think I just got a minor concussion” I told Robert as soon as he picked up the phone.

“What!?”

I laughed at my ridiculousness.

“I sneezed as I was pulling the car door open and BAM, I smacked my head . Really hard!” Robert paused, and then burst into laughter.

I made a right turn onto Spring Garden and thought to myself,  I am totally fine. I was on my way to a wedding and couldn’t wait to capture all of the love and a small bump on my head was not going to stop me. “What is on your agenda for the rest of the day?” I ask Robert and with that, the topic was switched.

One wedding, two work outs and one headshot session later, I find myself sitting in my doctors office “I’m only here because my boyfriend was worried. I think I have a minor concussion, but I am totally fine” I explain to the doctor.

Twenty minutes later and a few sad attempts at balancing on one foot, Doctor Adams turns to me and says “Well, tell your boyfriend that you definitely have a minor concussion. So make sure you take it easy over the next couple weeks. In your free time, just sit and don’t do anything.”

In my free time?! That’s a funny one.

I pushed on the door to leave and the first thing I noticed was the bright sun setting. My eyes closed shut in pain and I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. Ok, so maybe he has a point. I need to take it easy and give my brain the time it needs to heal, but how the heck was I going to do that?!  My week was packed and my todo list was growing longer and longer with every passing minute. Spring was just around the corner and I still had a few winter projects to finish up. This minor concussion was such an inconvenience.

An hour later. 

“What are you doing” Robert asked as soon as he walked in the door. He quickly turned off the lights and closed the laptop that was resting on my lap.

“I just have one more thing to finish up”  I open it up once again.

Taking it easy to me means not reading on my phone and maybe only answering emails once a day. Taking it easy to Robert means no screens, no gym and sitting on the couch at home with no lights on. I look up from my laptop and see a concerned Robert “Fine. I can finish this tomorrow.”

See, I am lucky. I have a boyfriend who is nothing like me. I mean, yes, we share the same political views and might check the same religious box on questionnaires, but he is totally the yin to my yang. When I want to get up and get my Sundays started at 6am, he reminds me to take a deep breath in and not over work myself. When I am trying to rush out the door because I don’t want to be late to a friend brunch, he turns the music up and moves his feet to the beat.  When I want to run to the next thing, he reminds me to walk and smell the roses. And when I want to just power through my minor concussion, Robert makes me take it easy and tells me that my work will get done once my brain is no longer mush.

I am lucky to have a best friend who is nothing like me. I am lucky to have a boyfriend watching out for me. I am lucky to have Robert taking care of me.

  Full Disclaimer: The photo above is missing 3 nephews and 2 nieces. I will be capturing photos of them all when Robert and I visit Israel in May!

“It’s 5:15am. It will be raining and a high of 31 degrees in Philadelphia today.” I quickly snatch my phone off the bedside table and press dismiss on the alarm. As my eyes start to focus, I notice I have two new messages in my WhatsApp group labeled “Pachino Family.” I click it and see a smiling faced baby girl wrapped in a warm, cuddly looking blanket. My heart melts and sighs at the same time. Chaviva, is the latest addition to the Pachino clan. I haven’t met her yet. She, and the rest of my nine incredible nieces and nephews live 6000 miles away in the beautiful country of Israel. As I turn on the hot water to start my shower, I stare back at Chaviva and I ask myself Why am I living in America?

This is a question I ask myself every day, and it’s not because I don’t love my life. I seriously LOVE my life. I am totally obsessed with the great city of Philadelphia and all it offers. I have established an amazing community that feels more like family. Don’t even get me started on how awesome my clients are. And above all, Robert is here. Yet, with each and every passing day, my heart breaks a little more.

They are there and I am here. It is as simple as that. They are there and I am here. They are having birthdays that I can’t blow up balloons for. They are starring in school plays that I cannot clap loudly at and they are having dance parties that I cannot dress up for. They are celebrating holidays, passing milestones with flying colors, learning, playing and living their life there, in Israel. And I am here, in Philadelphia. How can I live like this?

There is nothing like the love you feel as an Aunt. When Shira, the oldest of the nine, was born, I was head over heels in love. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hard and fast. There she was, all tiny and cute. As the seventeen year old high school senior, I was terrified of holding her. I had the immense fear that I was going to drop her, break her or even just make her cry. With one look, Shira stole my heart and I have never been the same.

With each child born, my heart grows bigger and bigger. I don’t think words can really explain the joy and happiness these nine humans and their cute little faces bring me. Watching them find the magic in the world is irreplaceable. Seeing the bits and pieces of my sisters that appear in these children is remarkable . Hearing them call me “Aunt Yael” is music to my ears and I miss them more and more every day.

I am lucky that we are living in such a globalized world. With just the click of a button, I can see them, hear them and be a digital presence in their life. I get daily updates, weekly pictures and I know my sisters and brother-in-laws are doing everything they can to make me feel like 6000 miles is really not that far. I know that I belong in Philadelphia and they belong in Israel. I know that they will never forget me and I will always be there in spirit. I know that I deserve to go after my dreams and they deserve to live out theirs. I know that our bond is stronger than long distance and time zones. I know that no one will replace me and I will be the proudest aunt no matter how far away I am.

So, as I take one more look at Chaviva’s photo before I head out into the rain and off to my first meeting of the day, I sigh. I am happy here. I can’t move to Israel. That just has to be good enough. For now, I get to count down the days til Robert and I go to see them in May. For now, I get to show off all the smiling photos I get via WhatsApp and for now, I get to laugh at every email that my older nieces send me. I live in Philadelphia, they live in Israel and waking up to pictures of a happy, cuddly Chaviva isn’t too shabby.

“I figured I’d find you here” Ayelet said as she walked up the stairs of Cornerstone Grill & Loft. I was sitting at one of the High Tops in my black yoga pants and Cornerstone zip-up, wrapping silver-wear, getting ready to start my waitressing shift.

“Where else would I be?” I said as I smiled back at my best friend. She sat down next to me and we started chatting as if we were in my living room. To be totally honest, I think I spent more time at that college bar than I did in any of my apartments or classes through out my time during undergrad. From the first week I went to the University of Maryland, I was a Cornerstone waitress. I worked 6 to 7 days a week and gave it my all. Don’t get me wrong, my education came first, but nothing came above my studies and my bar.

Years later, I might not have the same job, but I still have that same ‘work comes first’ tendency and I find myself struggling with it every day. As you all know, I absolutely love what I do. It feels like I am making a difference. It feel like I am full-filling my destiny. I have the best clients in the world and I want to do everything in my power to serve them the best way I can. But at the same time, I have an incredible relationship with the sweetest man, 9 nieces and nephews that I adore in every way and friends who support me and love me even at my worst.  So, how do I balance it all? How do I put the computer away, my calendar down and switch my entrepreneur brain off?  How can I focus solely on the amazing humans that love me unconditionally? How can I do it all and still have time to go to the gym?

I am not going to lie, it isn’t easy. It is probably the one thing I struggle with the most on a day to day bases. But this year, I have made it my goal to find a way to balance it all and still get enough sleep.  Thank you to the book, “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think” by Laura Vanderkam, I am changing the way I think about my time. Goodbye to the days where I hear myself constantly say “I don’t have enough time” and hello to the days where I admit to myself that if something is a priority, I will get it done. With that simple switch, I have found myself a lot less stressed, a lot more content and with way more time.

I know extra hours in the day aren’t magically appearing. I know that I still have the same amount of work to do. And I know that sometimes, I will feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I am juggling; but, when I focus on what I really want out of life, what means the most to me, I have found a lot more time and a lot more happiness. Of course spending time with my friends, family and my Robert are priorities. Of course, going to the gym and living a healthy life style are on the top of my list. And of course, serving my clients with my whole heart takes precedence. Now, all I have to do is fit it everything in to a 168 hours and that seems a lot more doable than the 24/7 mentality!

“We might have to get a doubt-conversion .” My Mom announced as I kicked off my fake Uggs and put my backpack down from my long day of Jewish Day School.

“What do you mean?” I asked walking into the kitchen.

“Well, if I can’t find out who my birth-mom is… We don’t really know if I am Jewish which means you might not be technically Jewish and we will all need to perform a doubt-conversion.” My mom was on a mission. See, my mom is adopted and although her adoption was through Jewish Family Services, she never received any details.

My mom wanted to be 100% sure we were Jewish. We always thought we were. If I’m being honest, there was not a doubt in my mind that we weren’t Jewish. But with us girls getting older, a future-son-in-law and prospects of grandkids in the picture, my mom wanted to be more than certain.

“What if I don’t want to be Jewish?” I responded. My mom shot me a baffled look.  I was fifteen years old and fed up with my Jewish Day School. I was doing terribly in my Hebrew class, my Jewish Studies bored me, my teachers misunderstood me and I was sent to the principle’s office daily for wearing skirts that weren’t below the knee.

Over the next few weeks, I gave this some serious thought. I was raised in a Jewish Orthodox household. Everyone I knew was Jewish. Everywhere I went was Kosher. Even our gym was the Jewish Community Center. It was my entire life, but what if it didn’t have to be? What if I had the chance to change this part of who I was? What if, instead of struggling with who I was and what it all meant, I could start over?

A month later, we found out we were 100% Jewish and I thank God every day that I am. I look back on my fifteen year old self and laugh. Of course I love being Jewish!  Don’t get me wrong,  I struggled in high school with my religion. I struggled with not feeling the same connection towards Jewish Orthodoxy as my family did. I struggled with constantly hearing from others that “I was not like my sisters” or “I was the black sheep of the family.” The struggle was definitely real. But after years of searching and growing, I have left the hardships behind me and have allowed myself to fall deeply in love with my heritage. And you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I love my Jewish legacy. I love all the traditions that my Judaism has brought me. I love the connection that I feel with someone when they say “Hey, I am Jewish too!” I feel at peace as I watch Robert light our Chanukah Candles. I feel supported when I walk into Break the Fast after Yom Kippur and I feel encouraged by the incredible Jewish Communities that has been so welcoming and so loving in every city I have lived in.

To all those people who are battling with who they are, I just want you to know you are not alone.  Take a deep breath and give yourself time. You will figure it out. Just give it time.

x0,

Yael

There hasn’t been a wedding dress I met that I didn’t love. From beaded to lacy, from an Empire Silhouette to A-line and from sleeveless to backless. I could photograph a dress for hours and be happy! I love them all and don’t even get me started on how absolutely stunning my brides look once they put them on!

Chances are, part of your upper body will be in on display once you put on your wedding dress. You deserve to feel like a queen! Build up you confidence with with this 20 minute YPP approved bridal work out! This workout will target your arms, shoulders and back, some of the most exposed wedding dress areas.

I have a confession.

I have always been insanely intimated by the weight room at the gym. No matter what, my feet would take over and direct me straight to the cardio machines. No matter how motivated I was, no matter how many pep talks I gave myself and no matter how many articles I read stressing the importance of strength training, I just couldn’t do it!

I would walk into the gym determined to at least start a weight-lifting workout but the second I saw the free-weights my fear would take over and I’d find myself standing on a treadmill, hitting the speed button and getting ready for a run instead. Don’t get me wrong, I do love a good cardio workout but I hated the fact that my apprehension of looking foolish could control me every day.

I was frustrated. I wasn’t seeing the results that I wanted. Every day I would push myself harder, faster and longer, but nothing seemed to work! I know they say results come from 70% – 80% of what you eat, but Robert and I eat healthier than ever. No added sugar, no dairy, essentially no processed foods, so then why wasn’t I seeing results?

Finally, after years of trying to find something that worked, many failed attempts and routines that just bored me to no end, my dearest friend, Ayelet recommended this amazing APP. And can I tell you, it is life changing! Sweat by Kalya has a 12 week weight lifting program that is so detailed oriented and so beginner -friendly that my fears were no longer in control.

This was the first time I felt like I had an actual game plan. This was the first time I was truly excited to start. This was the first time I didn’t think to myself  “let’s see how long this lasts!” Was I still nervous? Of course, but this time it didn’t stop me and to be completely honest, it felt amazing!

I was very strategic. I knew that I would still be embarrassed. I mean let’s be real, my form the first week was absolutely horrific.  That’s why, I  went only during off hour, midmorning, early afternoon, anytime that Google said “Not Too Busy,” I ran over there. I wasn’t going to let those bad-ass women and powerlifters intimidate me. I was going to do this. I had all the tools I needed! I had the workout plan.  I had the easy to follow instructions. Now, I just needed to get over my pride and do it.

Three weeks later, I am no longer embarrassed, I am no longer nervous. I don’t have to go when the gym is empty. I feel stronger, I feel lighter and for the first time in my life, I am starting to see real results from the gym, and I cannot get enough! I know what you are thinking, it has only been three weeks. This time it is different. This time, I am absolutely loving every second of it : )

You know, it’s funny… If you told me five years ago that I would be this excited that Robert bought us a brand new Ninja 1200 Blender, I would have fell off my chair laughing. I couldn’t bake. I couldn’t cook, let alone use a blender for anything more than a milkshake. Appliances didn’t interest me. New recipes? Forget about it, I couldn’t have cared less. The only time you saw me in the kitchen, I was using the microwave; and that was if I felt like being fancy… My how things have changed!

Seeing our new blender sitting on top of the counter in the perfect location between the knives and the sink made me smile from ear to ear. This blender has opened up the doors to endless possibilities and I could not be more thrilled! This blender has made post-workout protein shakes even better. Pureed soups can now totally be a thing and don’t even get me started on the idea of making my own home-made Peanut Butter!

It is truly amazing what a few years can do. I find myself always looking and searching for healthy new recipes with no added sugar. I constantly swap delicious and nutritious ideas with my friends and my Pinterest boards are no longer just shoes and coffee, but also oatmeal muffins, cauliflower rice and dairy-free chia seed pudding (and a TON of photography, but that is besides the point).

Five years ago, you wouldn’t have seen me without a Grande Soy Dirty Chai Latte in my hand. You wouldn’t have caught me reading the ingredients on the back of the box. And you would definitely not have spotted me using free-weights at the gym. So, as I open up the Ninja 1200 Blender and I start adding in all the whole ingredients to make our favorite Protein-Oat Muffins, I smile.

Things have certainly changed. I have surely evolved and my health and mindfulness has 100% improved. Life’s turning out way better than I thought it would be : )

Cheers to a happy and healthy life!