words of the week

“You look like you are struggling” Robert said as he watched me grab a water glass from the cabinet Monday morning. I turned around and gave him a blank stare. It took me a second to register what he was saying.

“Oh, I have a wedding hang over” I said matter of factly with my eyes half closed but a huge smile on my face. I ran over to my computer, which, if I am being totally honest was probably more of a slow walk than an actual run.

“Look!” I said as I pointed. “Doesn’t she look incredible!”

Robert let out a soft chuckle and shook his head at me. I am sure I sounded and looked like I consumed massive quantities of alcohol the night before, but in reality, it comes with the territory of being a wedding vender. It was the lack of water that was making me turtle like. I never remember to drink enough water! I am so consumed by photography, love and making my clients as happy as possible, that water is a complete after thought.

Even though my body was hating me, my mind and heart were still gushing over the love that I captured the day before. Robert gave me one more concerned yet, amused look “Make sure you nap today” he said and with that he hugged me goodbye and walked out the door.

I appreciated Robert’s attempt but I clearly did not plan on napping. I had too many photos to look at. Too many memories to swoon over. I am a wedding photographer for crying out! This is what I do and this is what I love! So, as I made my way back to my computer to select ten sneak peek photos to send to the latest YP newlyweds, I ignored my aching muscles and sore neck and just reminded myself to drink more water.

My 2019 wedding season has officially began and I could not be more excited and proud. No matter how hard it is to move, how busy my weeks get or how many times Robert tells me to “go nap,” I couldn’t imagine doing or wanting to do anything else with my life, aching muscles an all…

September 2015

“ROBERT!” I shouted into the phone “The closest Starbucks is 37 minutes away!” It was my first day living in Western Massachusetts and I was appalled! How was I, the queen of the Dirty Chai Latte, going to make it through the entire 10 months of Photography School without a Starbucks right around the corner. Starbucks was my go-to, my happy place. It was consistently delicious and always overpriced. What was I going to do!?

“Well, is there any other cafes around?” Rob asked as I paced around my new bedroom.

“Only Dunkin Donuts and I refuse to settle for Dunkin!” I explained. I was seriously in awe. I knew it was a small town. I knew there wasn’t going to be a ton around, but how was I going to survive without my Starbucks Coffee!

I was 23 years old and it was the first time I lived above the Mavis Dixon line in America. As much as I hate to admit it, it was a culture shock. The highways were different. The stores were different. Even the way people drank their coffee was different! It was the first time I actually understood what “America Runs on Dunkin” meant and I didn’t know exactly how I felt about it. As I babbled on the phone to Robert, I realized, I had two options. (1) Get on the Dunkin Bandwagon and get use to asking for a large coffee with X amount of sugar packets in it, or (2) become a tea drinker… I became a tea drinker.

Passover 2019

I don’t think I have ever seen a cup of coffee brewed or poured in the Pachino Family House. So, it didn’t even phase me when Robert and I arrived in Baltimore for Passover and there was absolutely no coffee in the house. Five years ago, I would have been horrified! I would have done everything in my power to make sure there was at least two cups of coffee waiting for me in the morning. Now, thank you to those crazy 10 months in New England, I have grown. I no longer need a cup of coffee to get through the day. Now coffee is a pleasure instead of a necessity. Now, I can go weeks, even months, without a cup of coffee and I have to tell you guys, I have never felt so great and fresh!

As Robert and I stopped for his coffee on the way back from Baltimore, I couldn’t help but think back on the first day I lived in Western Massachusetts. It is amazing how much one adapts and evolves over time. It is amazing how much one can grow. A

“All the kids are staying up as late as they can before they pass out.” Shana, my sister, WhatsApped me. I laughed when I read the message. There is nothing like staying up for Passover Seder when you are a kid. Drinking what feels like galloons of grape juice, smelling the bitter horseradish but not eating it, singing the dozens of songs we practiced and showing off the beautiful Hagadot (Seder Books) that we spent hours creating in school. It was our night to shine and I loved every second of it.

As I think about Akiva and Shmuel belting out the “Four Questions” on the top of their lungs, with their younger siblings trying to keep up and my sister and brother-in-law smiling,  I can’t help but feel an immense warmth and sense of pride. I find the whole Passover ordeal charming.  Don’t get me wrong, I know it is a lot of work. I know the cleaning can be overwhelming, the cooking can be challenging and the long nights can be exhausting. Yet, there is nothing like sitting around the Seder table, asking the same questions as every Jewish generation that came before us and eating the same Matzah as all the Jewish generations that will be coming after us.

Passover, in its essence, is a holiday for the children. It is here to teach the next generation our heritage. Teach them about the exodus of Egypt, the strength of the Jewish people and our ability to overcome obstacles. I never fully understood the power of this holiday until I witnessed my oldest niece, Shira’s, first Seder. The twinkle of pride in her eyes as she sang her songs, the happiness that washed over her face every time she answered a question correctly and the smile that shined through as she showed us the projects she made in school, finally made me see the incredible importance of this holiday. There is nothing like watching the next generation fall in love with your heritage and your traditions the way you did once upon a time.

This year, all the little ones will be in Israel (as they should be) but that doesn’t make Passover any less special. This year, Robert will be coming home with me. We will be surrounded by family and close friends, tradition and tons of wine. I couldn’t be more excited to share my favorite holiday with my favorite human. I could not be more excited to sit down and keep the Jewish Tradition alive for yet, another year.

“Let’s welcome Yael Pachino to the stage!” and everyone started to clap. I stood up from my seat in the back of the room. Took a deep breath in. I tried to smile as I walked up to the stage. The lights were bright. The clapping was loud and the butterflies in my stomach were fluttering like never before. I turn to face the crowd, put one hand on the microphone and feel complete and utter fear. It was Tribe 12’s Fellowship Pitch Night and I was one of the 2019 Fellows. I had about 0.2 seconds to start my pitch before the silence became awkward and uncomfortable. Here. Goes. Nothing, “Racheal was crying,” I heard myself begin.

I had practiced for this. I had literally spent hours trying to memorize the 172 words, in the shower, on the stair-master, on the way to the gym, on the way back from the gym and even when I was brushing my teeth. Over the last week, I have recited my pitch so many times that I honestly think Robert had it memorized too. Yet, no amount of preparation was relieving the nerves and fear I had of reciting a memorized speech in front of hundreds of people. Memorized being the keyword.

Don’t get me wrong, usually, I don’t mind public speaking at all! When I can just get up there and do my thing, it feels like second nature. But this was different. This was way more than just speaking about something I love. This was a pitch about something I had been dreaming about. This was a pitch I had been working towards for months. This was THE pitch and I was terrified.

Memorization has never been my strong suit. To be honest, it’s been a challenge ever since I was in elementary school dealing with my learning disabilities for the first time. Although, my learning disability had never been fully diagnosed, I know my limits. I know what I struggle with and I know how hard I have to work to overcome it. Just because I am adult, doesn’t make it easier. Unfortunately, society doesn’t seem to always comprehend that.

So as I stood there, on stage, feeling like I was back to being 9 years old in my 5th grade play “The Plant that Ate Dirty Socks”, I looked out into the crowd and felt the love.  The only thing I saw was smiling faces and warm eyes looking up at me. I knew I was surrounded by an incredibly supportive and understanding group of people. I knew this community, my community, only wants the best for me. I knew this group of people would not judge me if I fumbled.  Although, I felt my entire body shaking the entire minute and thirteen seconds I was up there,  all I could do was stand up straight and power through.

That is all we can really do, isn’t it? Jump on in and ignore the fears. Prepare and believe in yourself. Work hard and have faith in your determination. No matter how scary it is, how intimidating it feels, if it is worth it, you will have the strength to overcome.  Don’t give up on yourself. You are more powerful than you think.

I am the definition of a Type A Personality.

When I was younger, I did everything I could to pretend like I wasn’t. I wanted so badly to be that easy going, relaxed kinda girl who got things done when she got them done and nothing phased me. But I have to be honest, IT WAS ALL A LIE. I love being prepared! I love making plans and having plans for my plans! I love knowing what I am walking into. I have a one track mind and like things to be done effectively and efficiently.

Due to my textbook Type A personality, one thing is for sure, I strive to understand and know as much as possible before I jump head first into any situation. This my friends, is why I ran to my local book store to pick up “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman when I first started dating Robert. It was eye opening. I seriously did not expect it. I mean yes, I’ve had dozens of people recommend this book over the years. I cannot even begin to count the amount of times I have heard someone say “My love language is [Insert appropriate love language here],” yet, here I am, writing an entire blog post about how important it is to read this book, especially before you marry your best friend!

Reading this book helped me understand every single one of my relationships on a deeper, more intimate level. It helped me communicate better with my friends and family. It helped me accept the way others show their love and it helped me recognize that just because I do something out of love, does not mean Robert will do the same thing.

I don’t take book recommendations lightly, so when I say, I highly recommend reading “The 5 Love Languages” before you walk down the aisle, I mean it! Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it takes commitment, time and patience. Starting your marriage off with a deeper understanding of how you and your partner express love is a great starting point. Now don’t get me wrong, I have many other amazing book recommendations for bride and grooms to be. This is just the beginning. But, if I had to pick just one book for all of my YP couples to read before they say “I Do,” this book would be it!

So, I leave you with this thought… Do you know what love language your fiance speaks?

You are on cloud nine! Your best friend in the whole wide world just proposed and he pulled it off  better than you could ever dream of. You are happy. You are planning your future and you are absolutely loving the engagement bubble that you are living in. You are sporting a shiny new ring that fits perfectly on your left hand and you feel like the luckiest girl in the world! But what if something happens to the ring? God forbid it gets stolen or falls out of your bag while you are at the gym. Although diamonds are a girls best friend, diamonds have their own best friend named Ring Insurance. Here are YPPs top tips to Insuring your ring for the just in case situations…

1. Get your ring Insured ASAP:

   Your soon to be groom can get your ring insured as soon as it is purchased, which, if you ask me, is awesome news! That means you won’t even have to worry about it! But, in the off chance that he was too busy planning the big moment instead of insuring the beautiful sentiment, pick up that phone ASAP and call your insurance provider!

2. Think outside of the house

   Many couples put their engagement ring under their home owner or rental insurance, and that can definitely be helpful but a lot of those riders do not cover your ring outside of the house, and we all know you are planning a big honeymoon away!

3. How much are we talking??

   Good question! The estimated cost for your engagement ring insurance will be between $1 to $2 for approx. $100 your ring is worth. I know what you are thinking, that sounds like a lot! But trust me, it is worth it! The cost will ultimately be determined by a few different factors such as the value of your ring, where you live and the theft rate in your area, and whether or not your policy has a deductible, but the good news is it will protect that ring! Remember, this is your engagement ring for crying out loud! It is a symbol of love and nothing says love like protection!

4. Get an appraisal.

   Now ladies, this one is important! You can’t protect it with out knowing what you are actually protecting!! This is what your appraisal should include: (a) the carat weight, (b) cut, (c) color and (d) clarity of your diamonds. (e) The carat weight and (f) shape of any colored stones, (g) the metal type and (h) fineness or karat, as well as any (i) identifying marks, (j) hallmarks, or (k) stamps. BONUS: Make sure you trust your appraiser! Look at their online reviews, chat with them on the phone and find someone who earned a graduate degree in gemology AND is a member of a national appraisal society. We mean business when we are talking about our diamonds!

5. Get a Diamond Certificate or Grading Report: The 4 C’s

   The 4 Cs are my favorite C’s! Color, cut, clarity, and carat weight. In other words, A diamond certificate or gradating report. While this is not an appraisal, A Diamond Certificate is often provided by your jeweler if your ring is around a half a carat or larger. The 4 C’s are great for your appraiser and super important to track down your stone if anything happens to it!

6. Reappraise every few years!

   Your groom made a good investment. The value of your ring will increase over the years and that is why it is super important, for insurance purposes of course,  to get your ring appraised every few years. BONUS: If you go back to the same appraiser time and time again, they will already have a lot of your rings information and therefore, can cut costs! BONUS x 2: Don’t forget to bring a copy of your last appraisal with you. Always better to be safe than sorry!

This ring is way more than a ring, it is a symbol of your love for each other, it deserves to be protected! So now, go get that beauty insured and step right back in that engagement bubble! I know you want to!

” I think I just got a minor concussion” I told Robert as soon as he picked up the phone.

“What!?”

I laughed at my ridiculousness.

“I sneezed as I was pulling the car door open and BAM, I smacked my head . Really hard!” Robert paused, and then burst into laughter.

I made a right turn onto Spring Garden and thought to myself,  I am totally fine. I was on my way to a wedding and couldn’t wait to capture all of the love and a small bump on my head was not going to stop me. “What is on your agenda for the rest of the day?” I ask Robert and with that, the topic was switched.

One wedding, two work outs and one headshot session later, I find myself sitting in my doctors office “I’m only here because my boyfriend was worried. I think I have a minor concussion, but I am totally fine” I explain to the doctor.

Twenty minutes later and a few sad attempts at balancing on one foot, Doctor Adams turns to me and says “Well, tell your boyfriend that you definitely have a minor concussion. So make sure you take it easy over the next couple weeks. In your free time, just sit and don’t do anything.”

In my free time?! That’s a funny one.

I pushed on the door to leave and the first thing I noticed was the bright sun setting. My eyes closed shut in pain and I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. Ok, so maybe he has a point. I need to take it easy and give my brain the time it needs to heal, but how the heck was I going to do that?!  My week was packed and my todo list was growing longer and longer with every passing minute. Spring was just around the corner and I still had a few winter projects to finish up. This minor concussion was such an inconvenience.

An hour later. 

“What are you doing” Robert asked as soon as he walked in the door. He quickly turned off the lights and closed the laptop that was resting on my lap.

“I just have one more thing to finish up”  I open it up once again.

Taking it easy to me means not reading on my phone and maybe only answering emails once a day. Taking it easy to Robert means no screens, no gym and sitting on the couch at home with no lights on. I look up from my laptop and see a concerned Robert “Fine. I can finish this tomorrow.”

See, I am lucky. I have a boyfriend who is nothing like me. I mean, yes, we share the same political views and might check the same religious box on questionnaires, but he is totally the yin to my yang. When I want to get up and get my Sundays started at 6am, he reminds me to take a deep breath in and not over work myself. When I am trying to rush out the door because I don’t want to be late to a friend brunch, he turns the music up and moves his feet to the beat.  When I want to run to the next thing, he reminds me to walk and smell the roses. And when I want to just power through my minor concussion, Robert makes me take it easy and tells me that my work will get done once my brain is no longer mush.

I am lucky to have a best friend who is nothing like me. I am lucky to have a boyfriend watching out for me. I am lucky to have Robert taking care of me.

With my photo gear rolling behind me and my coat unzipped, I take a deep breath in, it’s finally not insanely cold outside. Coming from me, that is no small feat. I hear a bird chirping from afar and I feel the sun shining strong above me. I smile. With the clocks moving an hour earlier this past weekend and with the fresh smell in the air, spring has almost sprung and it is a marvelous feeling!

Don’t get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed the winter. It gave me a chance to reorganize, plan like no other, learn hard, network harder and meet the amazing couples I will be photographing this wedding season! And don’t even get me started on all the fun Robert and I have had! With all that being said, I am insanely excited for the change of season.

It means a lot more to me than simply the luxury of going outside without ten layers on or not needing to crank up the heat as soon as Robert walks in the door. It means that I made it. That Yael Pachino Photography had made it. I made it through the off season and business is still kicking. It means that bad weather and less outdoor sessions hasn’t knocked me down. It means that for the first time ever, Yael Pachino Photography made it from December to March without a supplementary income and I could not be happier. I thank god every day for the amazing companies and small businesses who had employed me over the years. Without part time jobs and the help of the wonderful community I have established here in Philadelphia, I could not be here. I could not have reached a point in my own business that allows me to put 150% of my time and effort into loving my clients, cherishing my product and growing my business.

Growing up, I always pictured myself having a steady 9-5 job. I wanted the stability. I wanted the protection. But as spring begins, I get to take a look at my life and I have never been so thankful that I didn’t fall into that lifestyle. I took a chance on myself and on what I love to do and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To be totally honest, I still day dream of having a 401K, pension and someone else to pay for my health insurance, that will never change, but nothing can replace the happiness, the fulfillment and the people that I get to surround myself with every day.

So, as I put my camera gear in the trunk of my car, hop in the front seat and get ready to head to the first wedding of the year, I turn the radio on loud and sing on the top of my lungs. Today, is a good day.

You had your engagement photos done. You’ve got your wedding dress fitting scheduled for next week. Your hair and make-up trials were even dreamier than you expected and the big day is coming up! Next up, your nails! Although your wedding day manicure might not be on the top of the list when it comes to your wedding day beauty look, it still shouldn’t be overlooked!

First things first,  the best time to get your wedding day manicure is one to two days before your wedding.

Here are a few other important things YPP suggests to achieve your wedding day nail dreams!

1. Always get a trail run

   You get your wedding hair and make-up trail, you have a rehearsal dinner and you go for your foot tasting, so why wouldn’t you also go for a nail trail run! I would suggest scheduling your trail run two months in advance. This way you can enjoy the look and make sure it is exactly what you want!

   BONUS: Try as many shades as you would like: You try on different dresses, you taste different cakes and you check out dozens of wedding shoes (at least if you are anything like me), add different nail colors to that list! Try as many different shades as you would like, make sure it exactly the correct look you want for your big day.

2. Consider the Season

   I’m not saying go dark red just because your wedding falls out in Autumn but if you are struggling with your wedding nail color vision, use your wedding season as your nail-spiration!

3. GEL over anything else

   I personally LOVE gel manicures. As a photographer, I always make sure I have my nails done, usually lavender. Since I am always holding a camera, gesturing, or holding something, I am constantly aware of my hands. I get gel manicures every single time! They look smooth and chip less easily. Plus, your wedding nails will remind you of your special day all through out your honeymoon!

4. Keep it simple

   I know, you may want to be creative, you may want to be unique, and you might have seen some really cool nail art on Pinterest, but you also want your wedding day look to be timeless. I don’t mean to say that if you are the friend who always has fun-art on her nails, you should tone it down for your wedding, but I do suggest, for those women out there who haven’t tried nail-art before, you may want to keep the adventure for a different day!

5. Don’t forget your toes!

   If you have closed shoes or a long enough dress, you may not be worried about showing of your toes, but don’t forget, your wedding day is being photographed from start to finish! Your toes may make a surprise appearance as are getting into your dress or taking your robe photos!

   BONUS: Many brides paint their toes blue for their something blue.

    

6.  Prepare yourself: The Emergency Wedding Day Kit

   Your wedding day is going to be fabulous and just in case something disastrous happens, which I don’t think it will, you should buy a bottle of your wedding day nail polish and put it in your handy dandy Wedding Day Emergency Kit! Better be safe than sorry!!

7. The perfect nail length

   The question you should be asking yourself is, what am I comfortable with? If you don’t usually get long extensions, I would suggest avoiding that for your big day too. You don’t want to feel clumsy, awkward or uncomfortable! If you have short fingers like me, aim for a medium-length oval-shape nail, this will look not only look elegant but also elongate your fingers! If you have shorter nail beds, try a shorter, more square tip! Consult your manicurist to help you decide what the best look is for your finger type!

And on a final note, don’t forget to moisturize! Your hands will be touched, kissed, photographed and looked at all day, make sure you have that bridal glow, even on your fingers and toes! Now go on, go book yourself a manicure, grab your maid of honor, and dream about your wedding!!! If you fiance asks, it’s Yael’s orders!

  Full Disclaimer: The photo above is missing 3 nephews and 2 nieces. I will be capturing photos of them all when Robert and I visit Israel in May!

“It’s 5:15am. It will be raining and a high of 31 degrees in Philadelphia today.” I quickly snatch my phone off the bedside table and press dismiss on the alarm. As my eyes start to focus, I notice I have two new messages in my WhatsApp group labeled “Pachino Family.” I click it and see a smiling faced baby girl wrapped in a warm, cuddly looking blanket. My heart melts and sighs at the same time. Chaviva, is the latest addition to the Pachino clan. I haven’t met her yet. She, and the rest of my nine incredible nieces and nephews live 6000 miles away in the beautiful country of Israel. As I turn on the hot water to start my shower, I stare back at Chaviva and I ask myself Why am I living in America?

This is a question I ask myself every day, and it’s not because I don’t love my life. I seriously LOVE my life. I am totally obsessed with the great city of Philadelphia and all it offers. I have established an amazing community that feels more like family. Don’t even get me started on how awesome my clients are. And above all, Robert is here. Yet, with each and every passing day, my heart breaks a little more.

They are there and I am here. It is as simple as that. They are there and I am here. They are having birthdays that I can’t blow up balloons for. They are starring in school plays that I cannot clap loudly at and they are having dance parties that I cannot dress up for. They are celebrating holidays, passing milestones with flying colors, learning, playing and living their life there, in Israel. And I am here, in Philadelphia. How can I live like this?

There is nothing like the love you feel as an Aunt. When Shira, the oldest of the nine, was born, I was head over heels in love. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hard and fast. There she was, all tiny and cute. As the seventeen year old high school senior, I was terrified of holding her. I had the immense fear that I was going to drop her, break her or even just make her cry. With one look, Shira stole my heart and I have never been the same.

With each child born, my heart grows bigger and bigger. I don’t think words can really explain the joy and happiness these nine humans and their cute little faces bring me. Watching them find the magic in the world is irreplaceable. Seeing the bits and pieces of my sisters that appear in these children is remarkable . Hearing them call me “Aunt Yael” is music to my ears and I miss them more and more every day.

I am lucky that we are living in such a globalized world. With just the click of a button, I can see them, hear them and be a digital presence in their life. I get daily updates, weekly pictures and I know my sisters and brother-in-laws are doing everything they can to make me feel like 6000 miles is really not that far. I know that I belong in Philadelphia and they belong in Israel. I know that they will never forget me and I will always be there in spirit. I know that I deserve to go after my dreams and they deserve to live out theirs. I know that our bond is stronger than long distance and time zones. I know that no one will replace me and I will be the proudest aunt no matter how far away I am.

So, as I take one more look at Chaviva’s photo before I head out into the rain and off to my first meeting of the day, I sigh. I am happy here. I can’t move to Israel. That just has to be good enough. For now, I get to count down the days til Robert and I go to see them in May. For now, I get to show off all the smiling photos I get via WhatsApp and for now, I get to laugh at every email that my older nieces send me. I live in Philadelphia, they live in Israel and waking up to pictures of a happy, cuddly Chaviva isn’t too shabby.