Personal

I am currently sitting on the porch of our Airbnb located in the heart of Jerusalem, Israeli music is flowing from the cafe downstairs, the chatter of birds are chirping around us, I can still feel the buzz of the Israeli Shook and Robert is taking a cat nap inside.

This weeks tip of the week is not just for those brides and grooms out there planning a wedding, it is for all humans of all ages, demographics, careers and stages of life. This weeks tip is for my fellow Type A Personalities and it’s for anyone who feels like they are spreading themselves too thin.

Read these words carefully… It is ok to take sometime for yourself. Let me say it again; It is ok to take sometime for yourself. I know I struggle with this one a lot. I find myself always wanting to work and put my clients and business first, but sometimes you just need to take a day or two and just breathe!

I have spent the last few days surrounded by my favorite little guys, (aka my nieces and nephews) and exploring this country with an even deeper found love for the people and culture. This trip has definitely changed me.

As much as I love my work and my clients, today, I am taking the time to relax, refresh and recenter myself. Today, I will be hiking and running around Tel Aviv with Robert for the first time. Today, I am taking time for myself and I know, in the long run, my work will thank me for the time off. I know, that next week, when I land in Newark Airport and get back to my life as usual, I will be 100% ready to jump right back into the photography hustle. But not today. Today, I am taking time to be with the people I love most in life.

Can I tell you something?

I don’t watch Game of Thrones. I probably shouldn’t admit it, but I just couldn’t get into it when it first aired. Maybe it’s because it came out when I was living in Israel before Netflix and Video Prime were a real thing. Maybe it’s because I have a hard time paying attention to anything (besides photography and my nieces and nephews, of course) for more than like ten minutes at a time. Or maybe it’s because I am fiercely loyal to the fanciful Harry Potter World and have no room in my heart for any other magical universe (which might actually make me a Hufflepuff).

Who really knows what the real reason is but what I do know is that Robert refuses to watch Game of Thrones with me. I don’t even begin to understand any of the references or MEMEs and I have received a ton of blank stares when I admit to others that “I actually don’t watch GOT.” I think I’ve turned on the first episode twenty times and have pretended to pay attention to at least a dozen other ones, but nothing sticks and you know what, I am totally ok with it.

According to The Times, Game of the Thrones is literally the most popular show in the world, EVER. I mean ever, and I am completely sure I couldn’t tell you the first thing about any of the characters.

Robert sometimes jokes around about how I am in a photography bubble and this might be his proof!

It’s like I am in my own little club. When all of my friends are watching Game of Thrones on Sunday night, I get an extra hour or two to read, listen to my podcasts or get some really great editing done. When everyone else talks about the latest episode the next day, I smile, nod and day dream about what productive thing I want to get done this week! I usually hate being clueless, but when it comes to this, I am totally ok with it.

I know it is supposed to be an amazing series. I know that the graphics are incredible and the storyline is on a whole other level. Yet, I am still one hundred percent fine with being in the dark with this one. Maybe that’s my true Hufflepuff colors showing, or maybe I am just the one of the few people in 170 countries who would rather work than watch Game of Thrones.

One thing is for sure, in a couple weeks when the series officially ends, I still will have no input. I still will smile and nod and I still will be very cool with it.

For all those lovely people out there who love their Game of Thrones, I hope the last two episodes are even better and unexpected as you want them to be. I apologize for not understanding the pain or excitement you feel, but this Sunday, I am super thrilled to finish editing my latest engagement session!

Happy watching my friends!

“You look like you are struggling” Robert said as he watched me grab a water glass from the cabinet Monday morning. I turned around and gave him a blank stare. It took me a second to register what he was saying.

“Oh, I have a wedding hang over” I said matter of factly with my eyes half closed but a huge smile on my face. I ran over to my computer, which, if I am being totally honest was probably more of a slow walk than an actual run.

“Look!” I said as I pointed. “Doesn’t she look incredible!”

Robert let out a soft chuckle and shook his head at me. I am sure I sounded and looked like I consumed massive quantities of alcohol the night before, but in reality, it comes with the territory of being a wedding vender. It was the lack of water that was making me turtle like. I never remember to drink enough water! I am so consumed by photography, love and making my clients as happy as possible, that water is a complete after thought.

Even though my body was hating me, my mind and heart were still gushing over the love that I captured the day before. Robert gave me one more concerned yet, amused look “Make sure you nap today” he said and with that he hugged me goodbye and walked out the door.

I appreciated Robert’s attempt but I clearly did not plan on napping. I had too many photos to look at. Too many memories to swoon over. I am a wedding photographer for crying out! This is what I do and this is what I love! So, as I made my way back to my computer to select ten sneak peek photos to send to the latest YP newlyweds, I ignored my aching muscles and sore neck and just reminded myself to drink more water.

My 2019 wedding season has officially began and I could not be more excited and proud. No matter how hard it is to move, how busy my weeks get or how many times Robert tells me to “go nap,” I couldn’t imagine doing or wanting to do anything else with my life, aching muscles an all…

September 2015

“ROBERT!” I shouted into the phone “The closest Starbucks is 37 minutes away!” It was my first day living in Western Massachusetts and I was appalled! How was I, the queen of the Dirty Chai Latte, going to make it through the entire 10 months of Photography School without a Starbucks right around the corner. Starbucks was my go-to, my happy place. It was consistently delicious and always overpriced. What was I going to do!?

“Well, is there any other cafes around?” Rob asked as I paced around my new bedroom.

“Only Dunkin Donuts and I refuse to settle for Dunkin!” I explained. I was seriously in awe. I knew it was a small town. I knew there wasn’t going to be a ton around, but how was I going to survive without my Starbucks Coffee!

I was 23 years old and it was the first time I lived above the Mavis Dixon line in America. As much as I hate to admit it, it was a culture shock. The highways were different. The stores were different. Even the way people drank their coffee was different! It was the first time I actually understood what “America Runs on Dunkin” meant and I didn’t know exactly how I felt about it. As I babbled on the phone to Robert, I realized, I had two options. (1) Get on the Dunkin Bandwagon and get use to asking for a large coffee with X amount of sugar packets in it, or (2) become a tea drinker… I became a tea drinker.

Passover 2019

I don’t think I have ever seen a cup of coffee brewed or poured in the Pachino Family House. So, it didn’t even phase me when Robert and I arrived in Baltimore for Passover and there was absolutely no coffee in the house. Five years ago, I would have been horrified! I would have done everything in my power to make sure there was at least two cups of coffee waiting for me in the morning. Now, thank you to those crazy 10 months in New England, I have grown. I no longer need a cup of coffee to get through the day. Now coffee is a pleasure instead of a necessity. Now, I can go weeks, even months, without a cup of coffee and I have to tell you guys, I have never felt so great and fresh!

As Robert and I stopped for his coffee on the way back from Baltimore, I couldn’t help but think back on the first day I lived in Western Massachusetts. It is amazing how much one adapts and evolves over time. It is amazing how much one can grow. A

Guys, I am lucky. As a small business owner, I don’t have the normal 9 – 5 schedule. I don’t have to be in a certain place for 40 hours a week. I don’t have to count my vacation days or call in when I’m sick. It is up to me to fit it all in, stay on task and never miss a deadline.

I like to consider my schedule flexible, yet consistent. That is why, all winter long, I had strived to get to City Fitness six times a week and always in the morning. It was great! I never had to wait for a bench. My favorite cardio machines were always available and all the dead lifting platforms were free. The gym was essentially empty, mine and one of my favorite places to be!

But winter has come and gone, the weather is nicer and the outdoor photography sessions are being booked one on top of the other! Being busy with what you love is the goal isn’t it?! It is a beautiful thing and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

So, when I found myself at the gym at 6:30pm, I was shocked. It was buzzing with people. As I waited my turn to use the Smith Machine, I didn’t let it frustrate me, (even though I am Type A through and through)! I actually took it as a win! I had spent that entire morning outside taking photos in the best city with the best clients! My afternoon was filled with coffee consultations and phone check-ins. If waiting for a machine at the gym was the worst thing of the day, I am insanely lucky. As I sat down on the Lateral Pull bench to work in an extra set or two, I kept my eyes on the Smith Machine and smiled.

Always keep your eyes on the prize. Never give up your goals. Go after your dreams and do it all!

“All the kids are staying up as late as they can before they pass out.” Shana, my sister, WhatsApped me. I laughed when I read the message. There is nothing like staying up for Passover Seder when you are a kid. Drinking what feels like galloons of grape juice, smelling the bitter horseradish but not eating it, singing the dozens of songs we practiced and showing off the beautiful Hagadot (Seder Books) that we spent hours creating in school. It was our night to shine and I loved every second of it.

As I think about Akiva and Shmuel belting out the “Four Questions” on the top of their lungs, with their younger siblings trying to keep up and my sister and brother-in-law smiling,  I can’t help but feel an immense warmth and sense of pride. I find the whole Passover ordeal charming.  Don’t get me wrong, I know it is a lot of work. I know the cleaning can be overwhelming, the cooking can be challenging and the long nights can be exhausting. Yet, there is nothing like sitting around the Seder table, asking the same questions as every Jewish generation that came before us and eating the same Matzah as all the Jewish generations that will be coming after us.

Passover, in its essence, is a holiday for the children. It is here to teach the next generation our heritage. Teach them about the exodus of Egypt, the strength of the Jewish people and our ability to overcome obstacles. I never fully understood the power of this holiday until I witnessed my oldest niece, Shira’s, first Seder. The twinkle of pride in her eyes as she sang her songs, the happiness that washed over her face every time she answered a question correctly and the smile that shined through as she showed us the projects she made in school, finally made me see the incredible importance of this holiday. There is nothing like watching the next generation fall in love with your heritage and your traditions the way you did once upon a time.

This year, all the little ones will be in Israel (as they should be) but that doesn’t make Passover any less special. This year, Robert will be coming home with me. We will be surrounded by family and close friends, tradition and tons of wine. I couldn’t be more excited to share my favorite holiday with my favorite human. I could not be more excited to sit down and keep the Jewish Tradition alive for yet, another year.

“Let’s welcome Yael Pachino to the stage!” and everyone started to clap. I stood up from my seat in the back of the room. Took a deep breath in. I tried to smile as I walked up to the stage. The lights were bright. The clapping was loud and the butterflies in my stomach were fluttering like never before. I turn to face the crowd, put one hand on the microphone and feel complete and utter fear. It was Tribe 12’s Fellowship Pitch Night and I was one of the 2019 Fellows. I had about 0.2 seconds to start my pitch before the silence became awkward and uncomfortable. Here. Goes. Nothing, “Racheal was crying,” I heard myself begin.

I had practiced for this. I had literally spent hours trying to memorize the 172 words, in the shower, on the stair-master, on the way to the gym, on the way back from the gym and even when I was brushing my teeth. Over the last week, I have recited my pitch so many times that I honestly think Robert had it memorized too. Yet, no amount of preparation was relieving the nerves and fear I had of reciting a memorized speech in front of hundreds of people. Memorized being the keyword.

Don’t get me wrong, usually, I don’t mind public speaking at all! When I can just get up there and do my thing, it feels like second nature. But this was different. This was way more than just speaking about something I love. This was a pitch about something I had been dreaming about. This was a pitch I had been working towards for months. This was THE pitch and I was terrified.

Memorization has never been my strong suit. To be honest, it’s been a challenge ever since I was in elementary school dealing with my learning disabilities for the first time. Although, my learning disability had never been fully diagnosed, I know my limits. I know what I struggle with and I know how hard I have to work to overcome it. Just because I am adult, doesn’t make it easier. Unfortunately, society doesn’t seem to always comprehend that.

So as I stood there, on stage, feeling like I was back to being 9 years old in my 5th grade play “The Plant that Ate Dirty Socks”, I looked out into the crowd and felt the love.  The only thing I saw was smiling faces and warm eyes looking up at me. I knew I was surrounded by an incredibly supportive and understanding group of people. I knew this community, my community, only wants the best for me. I knew this group of people would not judge me if I fumbled.  Although, I felt my entire body shaking the entire minute and thirteen seconds I was up there,  all I could do was stand up straight and power through.

That is all we can really do, isn’t it? Jump on in and ignore the fears. Prepare and believe in yourself. Work hard and have faith in your determination. No matter how scary it is, how intimidating it feels, if it is worth it, you will have the strength to overcome.  Don’t give up on yourself. You are more powerful than you think.

“OK, I think I am going to run to the grocery store and…” my phone started buzzing from my back pocket, ARMANDA in bright white letters showed up on the caller ID.  “It’s your grandmother!” I said with a huge smile. I sit down next to Robert and put my phone on speaker so we both can hear.

“Yael and Robert, I need a favor” She said in her thick Israeli accent with no time for greetings, “I have a new cell phone and I need your help. You are my new tech support. I am your favorite client!” She explained. Within 30 minutes, we were on our way to Armanda’s apartment in Center City, leaving the groceries and all of our other errands behind. Armanda came first and that was just a fact of life.

As the doorman ushered us in, I took a look at the beautiful lobby and was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to be considered a part of this family. Armanda is one of the strongest women I know and her sense of style puts everyone else to shame. From the day I met Robert, I knew his grandmother was a fiery woman who he admires dearly. Now, almost four years later, she is someone I not only admire, but aspire to be like. Nothing stops her. No matter what life throws her way she holds her head up high and keeps moving forward.

Looking perfect and sophisticated in every way, Armanda answered the door with a huge, loving smile. I immediately felt grateful and honored all in one. Honored that she picked up her phone to call me. Honored to be hugged and kissed when I walked into the door. Honored to be the one she thinks is good enough for her eldest grandson.

Before I knew it, we were sitting amongst the beautiful Israeli art side by side as I showed her how to use her new Samsung. I admit. I was impressed. For someone who isn’t great with my own phone, watching Armanda try her best to understand technology was incredible. In a world that is totally different than the one she grew up in, she doesn’t let the unknowns hold her back.  I actually think Armanda understands how to use emojis better than I do! She is a constant reminder that no matter what, your inner strength can push you forward. She is a constant reminder that age is just a number. She is a constant reminder that you can always learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.

” I think I just got a minor concussion” I told Robert as soon as he picked up the phone.

“What!?”

I laughed at my ridiculousness.

“I sneezed as I was pulling the car door open and BAM, I smacked my head . Really hard!” Robert paused, and then burst into laughter.

I made a right turn onto Spring Garden and thought to myself,  I am totally fine. I was on my way to a wedding and couldn’t wait to capture all of the love and a small bump on my head was not going to stop me. “What is on your agenda for the rest of the day?” I ask Robert and with that, the topic was switched.

One wedding, two work outs and one headshot session later, I find myself sitting in my doctors office “I’m only here because my boyfriend was worried. I think I have a minor concussion, but I am totally fine” I explain to the doctor.

Twenty minutes later and a few sad attempts at balancing on one foot, Doctor Adams turns to me and says “Well, tell your boyfriend that you definitely have a minor concussion. So make sure you take it easy over the next couple weeks. In your free time, just sit and don’t do anything.”

In my free time?! That’s a funny one.

I pushed on the door to leave and the first thing I noticed was the bright sun setting. My eyes closed shut in pain and I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. Ok, so maybe he has a point. I need to take it easy and give my brain the time it needs to heal, but how the heck was I going to do that?!  My week was packed and my todo list was growing longer and longer with every passing minute. Spring was just around the corner and I still had a few winter projects to finish up. This minor concussion was such an inconvenience.

An hour later. 

“What are you doing” Robert asked as soon as he walked in the door. He quickly turned off the lights and closed the laptop that was resting on my lap.

“I just have one more thing to finish up”  I open it up once again.

Taking it easy to me means not reading on my phone and maybe only answering emails once a day. Taking it easy to Robert means no screens, no gym and sitting on the couch at home with no lights on. I look up from my laptop and see a concerned Robert “Fine. I can finish this tomorrow.”

See, I am lucky. I have a boyfriend who is nothing like me. I mean, yes, we share the same political views and might check the same religious box on questionnaires, but he is totally the yin to my yang. When I want to get up and get my Sundays started at 6am, he reminds me to take a deep breath in and not over work myself. When I am trying to rush out the door because I don’t want to be late to a friend brunch, he turns the music up and moves his feet to the beat.  When I want to run to the next thing, he reminds me to walk and smell the roses. And when I want to just power through my minor concussion, Robert makes me take it easy and tells me that my work will get done once my brain is no longer mush.

I am lucky to have a best friend who is nothing like me. I am lucky to have a boyfriend watching out for me. I am lucky to have Robert taking care of me.

With my photo gear rolling behind me and my coat unzipped, I take a deep breath in, it’s finally not insanely cold outside. Coming from me, that is no small feat. I hear a bird chirping from afar and I feel the sun shining strong above me. I smile. With the clocks moving an hour earlier this past weekend and with the fresh smell in the air, spring has almost sprung and it is a marvelous feeling!

Don’t get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed the winter. It gave me a chance to reorganize, plan like no other, learn hard, network harder and meet the amazing couples I will be photographing this wedding season! And don’t even get me started on all the fun Robert and I have had! With all that being said, I am insanely excited for the change of season.

It means a lot more to me than simply the luxury of going outside without ten layers on or not needing to crank up the heat as soon as Robert walks in the door. It means that I made it. That Yael Pachino Photography had made it. I made it through the off season and business is still kicking. It means that bad weather and less outdoor sessions hasn’t knocked me down. It means that for the first time ever, Yael Pachino Photography made it from December to March without a supplementary income and I could not be happier. I thank god every day for the amazing companies and small businesses who had employed me over the years. Without part time jobs and the help of the wonderful community I have established here in Philadelphia, I could not be here. I could not have reached a point in my own business that allows me to put 150% of my time and effort into loving my clients, cherishing my product and growing my business.

Growing up, I always pictured myself having a steady 9-5 job. I wanted the stability. I wanted the protection. But as spring begins, I get to take a look at my life and I have never been so thankful that I didn’t fall into that lifestyle. I took a chance on myself and on what I love to do and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To be totally honest, I still day dream of having a 401K, pension and someone else to pay for my health insurance, that will never change, but nothing can replace the happiness, the fulfillment and the people that I get to surround myself with every day.

So, as I put my camera gear in the trunk of my car, hop in the front seat and get ready to head to the first wedding of the year, I turn the radio on loud and sing on the top of my lungs. Today, is a good day.