Family

“Aunt Yael. Do you want to go to the Five Dollar Store with us?!” My six year old niece, Ayelet asked as soon as Rob and I walked in the door. 

“We would love that” I responded. Her face lit up. “Can I get a hug now?!” I asked. She giggled and hopped into my arms. I was in my happy place.

The local Five Below is only a five minute drive from my parents house, but as we got closer and closer, Ayelet’s smile grew bigger and bigger. She tugged me out of the backseat of my sisters minivan and pulled me into the store. All nine of us paused for a second, reveled at what was before us. “Can you believe everything is only five dollars!” Shira, the oldest of the three girls said. They exchanged looks, and then went in. Aisle to aisle, toy to toy. They picked things up. Put them down. They asked questions. Consulted each other. And continued searching though all the treasure. In other words, they were in heaven.

I forgot what it was like to be six years old and have five dollars to spend. Five dollars could buy you everything you ever want. It could buy you a slinky, green slime and even a journal. It could buy you the chalk you love to draw with on a hot summer day, candy that would last you a month and a safe box that could keep all of your favorite possessions secure. Watching my nieces running around Five Below amazed and excited about everything they saw and all that they touched was so sweet and good to the cure. It was a beautiful reminder to be happy with the simple things in life.

As an adult, your five dollars can barely cover your favorite latte or toll across the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. Five dollars can’t even pay for your Netflix subscription or an audiobook but for a six year old, having five dollars is more than enough. Having five dollars is like having a key to everything you could ever ask for.

It’s funny how things go from so simple to so complicated. Granted, I know we all need to pay our rent. Our car insurance doesn’t pay for itself and our student loans will always be on the back of our mind, but every now and then, put that all aside. Take time to look at a five dollar bill from the perspective of a six year old. Take a minute to enjoy the small things in life. Take a second to remember that the simple things are sometimes the best of things.

I know, without a doubt that you love your family. I also know that you are going to love your wedding photography and, of course, love your wedding day itself. Putting it all together can be a lot to handle, to say the least. Family photos can be overwhelming. So many different combinations, unique family dynamics and a ton of coordination. Even though it might feel like the longest part of your wedding day, the family portraits end up being some of the most cherished photos. Family comes first. Family is everything. Family photos are a must. Here is the best way to prepare for your wedding day family portraits!

First look or Cocktail Hour?

Having a first look or waiting to see each other as you walk down the aisle has a direct effect on when we will capture your family portraits! If you want to enjoy your cocktail hour as much as humanly possible, but also want to make sure you have plenty of time for family portraits, I suggest doing a first look! This way, you can have your family arrive before the ceremony and have all of the family portraits completed before you say “I do!” PLUS: No one has started crying yet, so everyone’s wedding day look will be on point!

Write a list… check it twice!

This is a game changer! Take an afternoon, sometime before your wedding day, and write down a list of all the family combinations you want to capture. Once you have your list, ask your mom take a look and make sure there are no other combinations she is dying to have! I know, it sounds strenuous but trust me on this one, when you see your photographer reading off the list and being 100% sure that they got every family combination you could possibly want, you will feel a whole lot better! PLUS: It takes the pressure off of you on your wedding day… who doesn’t want that?

Select a meeting time and place

If your family is anything like my family, they run 15 minutes late to everything, and I mean everything. This is the perfect time to pull the tell them it starts 20 minutes earlier than it actually does so they make it on time strategy. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! This is your wedding day! You and your photographer have put a lot of time, energy and consideration into your wedding day photography timeline, as much as you love Aunt Margie, she must be on time!!

Designate a Family Portrait Captain

Every family has a busy bee, someone who likes to take charge and who can actually get Uncle Harry to stop telling his jokes and pay attention. Do you have someone in mind? Great! Give them a call! Ask them to be the Family Wrangler and they will not only feel important, but kick some major ass doing it!

Consider Ages

I have nine nieces and nephews. The oldest is twelve years old, the youngest is not even two months old. There is a big difference between how much time you can have a twelve year old and a two month old stand there and smile. Be mindful when you consider which combinations go first! The same thing goes for the older generations! If Bubbe has a hard time standing, make sure there is a chair nearby to use, if Grandpa is recovering from hip surgery, make sure he gets in and out of his photos as quickly as possible. Your family is going to be grateful that you thought of it all!

Keep your Photographer Informed!

It is your family and you know it best! Your family deserve to have it captured in whichever way best represents who you all are, that means, keep your photographer in the loop! As a photographer, I assure you, that we want your wedding day experience to be as pleasant as possible and if that means keeping Mom and Dad away from each other, we will do it!

These are the photos that are shared and loved by all generations. These are the photos that get framed and hung up on all of your walls. These are the photos that matter because the people in them matter. Make sure you are prepared to get everything you possibly can from your wedding day family portraits. No one loves your family as much as you do!

“OK, I think I am going to run to the grocery store and…” my phone started buzzing from my back pocket, ARMANDA in bright white letters showed up on the caller ID.  “It’s your grandmother!” I said with a huge smile. I sit down next to Robert and put my phone on speaker so we both can hear.

“Yael and Robert, I need a favor” She said in her thick Israeli accent with no time for greetings, “I have a new cell phone and I need your help. You are my new tech support. I am your favorite client!” She explained. Within 30 minutes, we were on our way to Armanda’s apartment in Center City, leaving the groceries and all of our other errands behind. Armanda came first and that was just a fact of life.

As the doorman ushered us in, I took a look at the beautiful lobby and was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to be considered a part of this family. Armanda is one of the strongest women I know and her sense of style puts everyone else to shame. From the day I met Robert, I knew his grandmother was a fiery woman who he admires dearly. Now, almost four years later, she is someone I not only admire, but aspire to be like. Nothing stops her. No matter what life throws her way she holds her head up high and keeps moving forward.

Looking perfect and sophisticated in every way, Armanda answered the door with a huge, loving smile. I immediately felt grateful and honored all in one. Honored that she picked up her phone to call me. Honored to be hugged and kissed when I walked into the door. Honored to be the one she thinks is good enough for her eldest grandson.

Before I knew it, we were sitting amongst the beautiful Israeli art side by side as I showed her how to use her new Samsung. I admit. I was impressed. For someone who isn’t great with my own phone, watching Armanda try her best to understand technology was incredible. In a world that is totally different than the one she grew up in, she doesn’t let the unknowns hold her back.  I actually think Armanda understands how to use emojis better than I do! She is a constant reminder that no matter what, your inner strength can push you forward. She is a constant reminder that age is just a number. She is a constant reminder that you can always learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.

  Full Disclaimer: The photo above is missing 3 nephews and 2 nieces. I will be capturing photos of them all when Robert and I visit Israel in May!

“It’s 5:15am. It will be raining and a high of 31 degrees in Philadelphia today.” I quickly snatch my phone off the bedside table and press dismiss on the alarm. As my eyes start to focus, I notice I have two new messages in my WhatsApp group labeled “Pachino Family.” I click it and see a smiling faced baby girl wrapped in a warm, cuddly looking blanket. My heart melts and sighs at the same time. Chaviva, is the latest addition to the Pachino clan. I haven’t met her yet. She, and the rest of my nine incredible nieces and nephews live 6000 miles away in the beautiful country of Israel. As I turn on the hot water to start my shower, I stare back at Chaviva and I ask myself Why am I living in America?

This is a question I ask myself every day, and it’s not because I don’t love my life. I seriously LOVE my life. I am totally obsessed with the great city of Philadelphia and all it offers. I have established an amazing community that feels more like family. Don’t even get me started on how awesome my clients are. And above all, Robert is here. Yet, with each and every passing day, my heart breaks a little more.

They are there and I am here. It is as simple as that. They are there and I am here. They are having birthdays that I can’t blow up balloons for. They are starring in school plays that I cannot clap loudly at and they are having dance parties that I cannot dress up for. They are celebrating holidays, passing milestones with flying colors, learning, playing and living their life there, in Israel. And I am here, in Philadelphia. How can I live like this?

There is nothing like the love you feel as an Aunt. When Shira, the oldest of the nine, was born, I was head over heels in love. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hard and fast. There she was, all tiny and cute. As the seventeen year old high school senior, I was terrified of holding her. I had the immense fear that I was going to drop her, break her or even just make her cry. With one look, Shira stole my heart and I have never been the same.

With each child born, my heart grows bigger and bigger. I don’t think words can really explain the joy and happiness these nine humans and their cute little faces bring me. Watching them find the magic in the world is irreplaceable. Seeing the bits and pieces of my sisters that appear in these children is remarkable . Hearing them call me “Aunt Yael” is music to my ears and I miss them more and more every day.

I am lucky that we are living in such a globalized world. With just the click of a button, I can see them, hear them and be a digital presence in their life. I get daily updates, weekly pictures and I know my sisters and brother-in-laws are doing everything they can to make me feel like 6000 miles is really not that far. I know that I belong in Philadelphia and they belong in Israel. I know that they will never forget me and I will always be there in spirit. I know that I deserve to go after my dreams and they deserve to live out theirs. I know that our bond is stronger than long distance and time zones. I know that no one will replace me and I will be the proudest aunt no matter how far away I am.

So, as I take one more look at Chaviva’s photo before I head out into the rain and off to my first meeting of the day, I sigh. I am happy here. I can’t move to Israel. That just has to be good enough. For now, I get to count down the days til Robert and I go to see them in May. For now, I get to show off all the smiling photos I get via WhatsApp and for now, I get to laugh at every email that my older nieces send me. I live in Philadelphia, they live in Israel and waking up to pictures of a happy, cuddly Chaviva isn’t too shabby.