weddingtips

“I want to have at least five minutes alone with him before our wedding day ends! But I am not so sure how to ensure that!” one of my brides expressed on our phone call a week before her wedding.

“I just saw the cutest thing!” I said excited to share this adorable idea.

“Do tell!” She said intrigued

“Well, have you thought of having two first dances?!”

“What do mean?”

“Well, everyone knows about the classic first dance in front of all your family and friends, but what do you think of this? What if you had everyone move into a different room to grab some dessert and coffee, and you two love birds can have the entire reception room for yourself. Pick a second song, to slow dance to, just the two of you!”

A second first dance might not be the right choice for you and your fiance, but you get the idea! This is your wedding for crying out loud, it should be all about you and your SO, but sometimes, with all your friends and family around celebrating and loving you, you don’t have a chance to be alone. So even before the day has started, plan to take 10 minutes to yourselves. Excuse yourself from the reception for a nice little walk alone, be the first to try the double scoop from the ice cream truck before the guests come out or take 10 minutes to escape all the fun and get some night portraits done. Whatever you do, make sure you spend a few minutes at the end of the night alone. You will thank yourselves!!

” I was thinking about getting me and the girls matching phone cases for the wedding day” one of my brides said to me “Look! Aren’t they cute!?” she said as she showed me her a picture on her phone.

“They are super cute! But can I just make a small suggestion…” I said as she started scrolling through the photos of the different colored cases. “don’t have your phone on you during your wedding day.” She looked at me with a blank expression. “I know… it sounds crazy, but you will thank me later!”

Unplug for the day. You aren’t going to need your phone. It will only distract you from one of the best days of your life! Give your phone to your Made of Honor and have her do all the answering. You can even put it on airplane mode and give all your vendors your bridesmaid number and have someone else be in charge of taking the selfies. You deserve to enjoy your wedding and take a break from the digital world. I mean, let’s be real, everyone important to you will either be in that getting ready room with you or see you in the next 5 hours. So, this is what you want to do. Wake up on your wedding day. Turn off the alarm. Hand that bad boy over to whoever is closest to you and enjoy every moment of your wedding. You have spent months, possibly years, working towards this day, don’t miss even one second of your magic. Have your bridesmaids and family take care of all the loose ends and last minute phone calls. Pour yourself a mimosa, put on your “Bride” robe and get ready to be the happiest girl alive.

“Do you think people will like this!?” one of my brides texted me. I waited for the screenshot to download. It was the cutest save-the-date. They looked happy, in love and stunning in every way. I started typing back, “YES!” but hesitated, shook my head and backspaced, “The more important question, is do YOU!?” I could just imagine my bride grinning ear to ear as she read my text and looked back at the screenshot of her card. A few seconds later my phone buzzed again “I really, really do.”

Does this make me happy? I know sometimes it is easy to get caught up with other peoples opinions, specially the mother’s of the world. Sometimes, and don’t get me wrong, I am no exception, we all can agonize over the little things… Should you have the pink champagne or a speciality drink? Do you pay extra for the bigger floral centerpieces? Do you splurge for the chiavari chairs?? Sometimes, you even find yourself comparing your plans with your best friend (who happen to be getting married a month after you), wedding plan’s. While you agonize, question and compare, please take a step back and ask yourself these questions…. “Do you like it!? Do you even really care? Is this thing you are stressing about now really going to add that extra little something to your big day?” If the answer is yes, then good! Keep doing what you are doing. If the answer is no, then stop your worrying! Everything will be beautiful, lovely and completely and totally you.

Let me fill you in on a little secret… Wedding guests really only care about three things; dancing, food and whether or not they had a good time. They don’t think about how much time and effort you put into handwriting, rewriting and then re-rewriting the seating chart. They don’t know how many hours you spent contemplating if there are enough peonies in the centerpieces. And they definitely don’t have any real understanding how many emails you sent questioning the number of candles on each table.   You are better off focusing on the bigger picture and most importantly, what makes YOU and your fiance happy. So, when in doubt, ask yourself this yes or no question…”Does this make me happy?”

xo,

Yael

“So I think we found the perfect venue” one of my bride’s said as we were chatting on the phone.

“Oh great! Which one!?” I asked as I pull out my pen and notebook to jot it down.

As my excited YPbride continued, my heart sunk. I could tell she was thrilled! She found an amazing venue that fit her style, her budget and the coordinator even said they were still available for her preferred wedding date! She was over the moon excited! The only problem was, she was inviting over 350 people and the venue was slightly too small for her guest list.

As I waited for her to take a breath I calmly said “That all sounds great… but do you know the trick in figuring out how many guests can fit in the venue?”

She hesitated and said “oh… no, what is it.”

Friends and family come first. You want everyone there don’t you? That’s why you have to take into consideration how many people are near and dear in your heart before you find your venue. Ok, I will make this as easy as possible. If you are anything like me, numbers are not your friends. Your favorite number is now 30. All you have to do is multiply 30 x the number of names on that guest list and BAM, you have your number. The rule of thumb = 30 square feet per guest. It is that simple. I know, it sounds like a ton of space and you are probably wondering, “Yael, is that really necessary?!” I promise you it is! Think about it… you don’t JUST need a place for your incredible friends and family to sit.  You need room for not only the guests, but the tables they will sit at and enjoy the delicious food you chosen, a dance floor to show off their coolest dance moves, space for the amazing waiters and waitresses to move swiftly and comfortably and a good amount of space for the band, the cake, the incredible dessert table, the bar, and the other bar (because sometimes, one bar is just not enough). Your wedding is much more than a sit down affair and you and your guests deserve to be able to move around comfortably. So, when you start researching venues, pull out that calculator baby! 

February 2008:

“So, I have exciting news” My mom said as she walked down the stairs to the living room. “What?” I said, as I lounged on the leather sofa in my school uniform and UGGs, not even looking up from my Samsung Alias phone. I was clearly way more interested in my text conversation with my best friend from sleep-away camp (shout out to Dina Sebrow) than what my mom had to say.

She sighed and continued to talk “Bec and Sim picked a wedding date…”

She just looked at me, being the typical, uninterested, 15 year old girl that I was, I said nothing.

“It’s going to be the Sunday of 4th of July weekend” My mom said.

I looked up…”Why would they do that! It’s a holiday for crying out loud” I finally said in the most dramatic voice that could ever come out of my mouth. I put my Alias down next to me and crossed my arms.

My mom sat down on the sofa next to me and taught me one heck of an important lesson.

You must be thinking “Well duh, Yael. That is an obvious one.” and in ways you are totally right, there are certain dates that you already know are never going to happen. But here is the cool part… Did you know that high sought – after seasons and days of the week are more expensive? A Saturday evening reception at the end of the summer and a Friday midday wedding in the middle of winter at the same venue can have vastly different prices. So, if your SO is dying to see you walk down the aisle at his favorite venue, pick a Friday or a slightly colder day of the year. It will save you money, make him happy and allow you to have a larger budget for the dream dress you have always wanted. In my book, that is a win win win! 

Becca and Simcha did it right; not only did they get married on a Sunday, but a holiday weekend no less! Which, at the time, was one the smartest wedding decisions they could have made!

They have now been married for over 10 years and have four incredible kids… I mean how can you NOT want to follow their lead : ) 

xo,

Yael