nephews

“Aunt Yael, is your job hard?” Shira, my nine year old niece asked me as we sat behind my computer looking through some of the amazing weddings I photographed this year so far.

Shira, Eliora and Ayelet were all inspecting the galleries as if it was the most important thing they have ever done. My nieces absolutely love weddings. They love seeing the different dresses and discussing the different colors. They love pointing out the veils they like or what they don’t like. They love asking about the flower girls and ring bearers.

All my nieces want is to be flower girls. Wear the fancy dresses, sprinkle the flowers down the aisle and see their aunt tie the knot.

As I sat there watching their little faces light up, I turned to Shira, “You mean is photography hard?”

“Yes!” She confirmed as she looked up at me and away from the computer for a response.

“Well,” I began as I unconsciously started playing with Shira’s long, dirty blonde hair “I love what I do and I love my clients, but sometimes, the photo editing gets a little overwhelming.” She continued to stare at me.

“And always trying to find new clients can sometimes be challenging. I guess dealing with taxes isn’t always fun, but I do love what I do so it is all worth it!”

“OH! That doesn’t sound too hard” She said as she turned her attention back to Lauren and Mike’s wedding gallery.

I smiled. “Oh ya? Not too bad huh?”

“Maybe when I grow up, I’ll become a photographer. It looks so easy and so fun!” I let out a big laugh. Sometimes I wish I still had the decision making skills of a nine year old.

“Well it is fun!” I said matter of factly.

The youngest of the three, Ayelet, climbed on to my lap so she could reach the up and down buttons on the computer. My heart was full of so much love and pride. Here I was, surrounded by some of my favorite little people and they were actually interested in what I do every day! Not only were they interested but Shira, might even have the photography bug herself! I could not be more excited to share it with her. I mean let’s be real, she probably moved on to a different dream career already, but, just for a second, she wanted to follow her aunts foot steps and I have never felt so lucky.

“Aunt Yael. Do you want to go to the Five Dollar Store with us?!” My six year old niece, Ayelet asked as soon as Rob and I walked in the door. 

“We would love that” I responded. Her face lit up. “Can I get a hug now?!” I asked. She giggled and hopped into my arms. I was in my happy place.

The local Five Below is only a five minute drive from my parents house, but as we got closer and closer, Ayelet’s smile grew bigger and bigger. She tugged me out of the backseat of my sisters minivan and pulled me into the store. All nine of us paused for a second, reveled at what was before us. “Can you believe everything is only five dollars!” Shira, the oldest of the three girls said. They exchanged looks, and then went in. Aisle to aisle, toy to toy. They picked things up. Put them down. They asked questions. Consulted each other. And continued searching though all the treasure. In other words, they were in heaven.

I forgot what it was like to be six years old and have five dollars to spend. Five dollars could buy you everything you ever want. It could buy you a slinky, green slime and even a journal. It could buy you the chalk you love to draw with on a hot summer day, candy that would last you a month and a safe box that could keep all of your favorite possessions secure. Watching my nieces running around Five Below amazed and excited about everything they saw and all that they touched was so sweet and good to the cure. It was a beautiful reminder to be happy with the simple things in life.

As an adult, your five dollars can barely cover your favorite latte or toll across the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. Five dollars can’t even pay for your Netflix subscription or an audiobook but for a six year old, having five dollars is more than enough. Having five dollars is like having a key to everything you could ever ask for.

It’s funny how things go from so simple to so complicated. Granted, I know we all need to pay our rent. Our car insurance doesn’t pay for itself and our student loans will always be on the back of our mind, but every now and then, put that all aside. Take time to look at a five dollar bill from the perspective of a six year old. Take a minute to enjoy the small things in life. Take a second to remember that the simple things are sometimes the best of things.

I know, without a doubt that you love your family. I also know that you are going to love your wedding photography and, of course, love your wedding day itself. Putting it all together can be a lot to handle, to say the least. Family photos can be overwhelming. So many different combinations, unique family dynamics and a ton of coordination. Even though it might feel like the longest part of your wedding day, the family portraits end up being some of the most cherished photos. Family comes first. Family is everything. Family photos are a must. Here is the best way to prepare for your wedding day family portraits!

First look or Cocktail Hour?

Having a first look or waiting to see each other as you walk down the aisle has a direct effect on when we will capture your family portraits! If you want to enjoy your cocktail hour as much as humanly possible, but also want to make sure you have plenty of time for family portraits, I suggest doing a first look! This way, you can have your family arrive before the ceremony and have all of the family portraits completed before you say “I do!” PLUS: No one has started crying yet, so everyone’s wedding day look will be on point!

Write a list… check it twice!

This is a game changer! Take an afternoon, sometime before your wedding day, and write down a list of all the family combinations you want to capture. Once you have your list, ask your mom take a look and make sure there are no other combinations she is dying to have! I know, it sounds strenuous but trust me on this one, when you see your photographer reading off the list and being 100% sure that they got every family combination you could possibly want, you will feel a whole lot better! PLUS: It takes the pressure off of you on your wedding day… who doesn’t want that?

Select a meeting time and place

If your family is anything like my family, they run 15 minutes late to everything, and I mean everything. This is the perfect time to pull the tell them it starts 20 minutes earlier than it actually does so they make it on time strategy. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! This is your wedding day! You and your photographer have put a lot of time, energy and consideration into your wedding day photography timeline, as much as you love Aunt Margie, she must be on time!!

Designate a Family Portrait Captain

Every family has a busy bee, someone who likes to take charge and who can actually get Uncle Harry to stop telling his jokes and pay attention. Do you have someone in mind? Great! Give them a call! Ask them to be the Family Wrangler and they will not only feel important, but kick some major ass doing it!

Consider Ages

I have nine nieces and nephews. The oldest is twelve years old, the youngest is not even two months old. There is a big difference between how much time you can have a twelve year old and a two month old stand there and smile. Be mindful when you consider which combinations go first! The same thing goes for the older generations! If Bubbe has a hard time standing, make sure there is a chair nearby to use, if Grandpa is recovering from hip surgery, make sure he gets in and out of his photos as quickly as possible. Your family is going to be grateful that you thought of it all!

Keep your Photographer Informed!

It is your family and you know it best! Your family deserve to have it captured in whichever way best represents who you all are, that means, keep your photographer in the loop! As a photographer, I assure you, that we want your wedding day experience to be as pleasant as possible and if that means keeping Mom and Dad away from each other, we will do it!

These are the photos that are shared and loved by all generations. These are the photos that get framed and hung up on all of your walls. These are the photos that matter because the people in them matter. Make sure you are prepared to get everything you possibly can from your wedding day family portraits. No one loves your family as much as you do!

Every time I talk to my nieces, on the phone, in person or even via email, no matter what, the first question they ask me is “When are you getting married Aunt Yael? I want to be your flower girl!”

“You will be the first to know” is always my response.

Honestly, I cannot wait to see my favorite girls in their pretty dresses and watch them walk down the aisle at my wedding with flowers in hand and a huge smile on their faces. That’s what every bride envisions right? Their favorite little girls and handsome little boys, behaving perfectly and making the entire room say “AWE” as they walk down the aisle! I know that is what I want! Yet,  sometimes, the ceremony can be a little overwhelming for the little ones that is why I am excited to announce that I have put together “The 6 YPP best tips and tricks for Flower Girls and Ring Bearers.” All I want are my nine nieces and nephews to feel comfortable,  excited and happy at my wedding and if I had to bet, you feel the same way about your favorite little humans!

1. Big Kid Job:

   Children love to feel like they are all grown-up, they want to be exactly like mommy and daddy which means one thing, they want to feel like they have a big kid job! If you emphasize how big and special their job is, they will be eager to do it and do it well! The more you can do to get them excited and looking forward to their job, the more likely they will enjoy it and work hard at it!

2. Practice, Practice, Practice!

   Have them practice several times! Practice makes perfect, even for the little ones! Let them practice as close to the actual processional as possible so it is fresh in their minds! The familiarity of the entrance and walk-way may help as they watch all the ceremony chairs fill up and they start feeling shy or anxious!

   Bonus:  Tie a small, yet pretty helium balloon on a string around their wrists. It will be the perfect way to distract them! As they walk, the balloon will bounce up and down and our favorite little girls and boys won’t even notice that they made it all the way down the aisle!

3. We are not above bribery!

   Bribe them down the aisle. Promise them a treat at the end of the aisle or something really, really special at the reception. Kids of all ages, well, let’s be real, even adults, cannot refuse a good bribe!

4. Don’t forget the Snacks!

   Being Hangry is never fun, specially when you are a little human, in a completely new environment, wearing a dress or a sports coat that might not be as comfy as pajamas… bring snacks! Stick with foods that are easy to transport and don’t make a mess (i.e. string cheese, fruit snacks and animal crackers)!

5. Let them help pick their outfit!

   I know, I know you have a vision of what you want your flower girl and ring bearer to look like as they walk down the aisle, but if you let them pick out one aspect of their wedding day attire, they will feel so excited and will want to show it off! So, let your flower girl pick out her pretty bow and your favorite little guy pick out his cool tie. They will feel important and you get to see their personality come a live!

6. Finally, Thank Them!

   Being at a wedding, and especially a part of the wedding party, is a big deal for a little one, make sure you and your new spouse thank them! Let them know how happy you are to have them be a part of your big day and how much it means to you! Take a moment after the ceremony to give them a big hug or a high five for doing such an incredible job!

  Full Disclaimer: The photo above is missing 3 nephews and 2 nieces. I will be capturing photos of them all when Robert and I visit Israel in May!

“It’s 5:15am. It will be raining and a high of 31 degrees in Philadelphia today.” I quickly snatch my phone off the bedside table and press dismiss on the alarm. As my eyes start to focus, I notice I have two new messages in my WhatsApp group labeled “Pachino Family.” I click it and see a smiling faced baby girl wrapped in a warm, cuddly looking blanket. My heart melts and sighs at the same time. Chaviva, is the latest addition to the Pachino clan. I haven’t met her yet. She, and the rest of my nine incredible nieces and nephews live 6000 miles away in the beautiful country of Israel. As I turn on the hot water to start my shower, I stare back at Chaviva and I ask myself Why am I living in America?

This is a question I ask myself every day, and it’s not because I don’t love my life. I seriously LOVE my life. I am totally obsessed with the great city of Philadelphia and all it offers. I have established an amazing community that feels more like family. Don’t even get me started on how awesome my clients are. And above all, Robert is here. Yet, with each and every passing day, my heart breaks a little more.

They are there and I am here. It is as simple as that. They are there and I am here. They are having birthdays that I can’t blow up balloons for. They are starring in school plays that I cannot clap loudly at and they are having dance parties that I cannot dress up for. They are celebrating holidays, passing milestones with flying colors, learning, playing and living their life there, in Israel. And I am here, in Philadelphia. How can I live like this?

There is nothing like the love you feel as an Aunt. When Shira, the oldest of the nine, was born, I was head over heels in love. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Hard and fast. There she was, all tiny and cute. As the seventeen year old high school senior, I was terrified of holding her. I had the immense fear that I was going to drop her, break her or even just make her cry. With one look, Shira stole my heart and I have never been the same.

With each child born, my heart grows bigger and bigger. I don’t think words can really explain the joy and happiness these nine humans and their cute little faces bring me. Watching them find the magic in the world is irreplaceable. Seeing the bits and pieces of my sisters that appear in these children is remarkable . Hearing them call me “Aunt Yael” is music to my ears and I miss them more and more every day.

I am lucky that we are living in such a globalized world. With just the click of a button, I can see them, hear them and be a digital presence in their life. I get daily updates, weekly pictures and I know my sisters and brother-in-laws are doing everything they can to make me feel like 6000 miles is really not that far. I know that I belong in Philadelphia and they belong in Israel. I know that they will never forget me and I will always be there in spirit. I know that I deserve to go after my dreams and they deserve to live out theirs. I know that our bond is stronger than long distance and time zones. I know that no one will replace me and I will be the proudest aunt no matter how far away I am.

So, as I take one more look at Chaviva’s photo before I head out into the rain and off to my first meeting of the day, I sigh. I am happy here. I can’t move to Israel. That just has to be good enough. For now, I get to count down the days til Robert and I go to see them in May. For now, I get to show off all the smiling photos I get via WhatsApp and for now, I get to laugh at every email that my older nieces send me. I live in Philadelphia, they live in Israel and waking up to pictures of a happy, cuddly Chaviva isn’t too shabby.